Flight Grounded, Tempers Flying

One of the best books I've ever read on negotiation and conflict was co-written by a Harvard Law Professor. The book, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (from Harvard) and William Ury, was first printed in 1981. A second edition followed ten years later in 1991. I first read this book when I was a graduate student. Since then, I have successfully applied one or more of the basic principles of this book to a number of different situations involving negotiation and / or conflict.

The four principles outlined in Getting to Yes are: (1) Separate people from the problem (2)Focus on interests, not positions (3) Generate options that satisfy both parties (4) Find objective criteria or standards for possible solutions.

Though it occur ed nearly a decade ago, one particular situation still stands out in my mind as a surprising example of how effective some of the principles I had learned from Fisher and Urys' book could be.

As it happened, I was planning to fly out of the Portland, Oregon airport with the intention of arriving in Minnesota late in the afternoon; early the next morning, I was supposed to start training a conference room full of 50-60 teachers on a topic related to communication instruction and assessment. A lot of preparation had gone into making arrangements.

When I got to the airport and made my way toward my airline counter I was suddenly struck with the heartsick realization that something was wrong. A very long line of people stood at a standstill and they were steaming mad. As it turned out, our flight had been grounded.

Eventually, the line started moving. I started feeling more encouraged; perhaps whatever the problem was, it had been addressed. When I finally did get close to the ticket counter, I could hear would-be travelers screaming at impersonal airline representatives who flatly said that our flight wasn't going anywhere.

Just about the time I was next in line, I remembered how important it was to "separate people from the problem." When I did approach the counter, I took a deep breath and looked the airline representative in the eyes and said, "This must be very hard for you with everyone so upset." I paused. Then I saw that the young woman standing in front of me was struggling to hold back tears. She said with some hesitation, "I'm doing my best, but it has been hard."

Once the airline representative realized I wasn't blaming her for the grounded plane, she became more receptive to problem solving. I believe she wanted to provide good service but felt helpless in the situation. I simply wanted to figure out a way to meet the needs of all the teachers waiting for me half way across the country. As I explained my situation and asked for her help, we were able to brainstorm some possibilities. Finally, we were able to hobble together an itinerary that involved four different flights and some lengthy layovers. Though I didn't get arrive at my final destination until early the next morning, I did keep my commitment to a group of teachers who had been expecting me. The airline representative who worked with me was able to solve a problem for a customer in spite of all the stress around her.

If you are not familiar with Getting to Yes, I believe you will find the book is practical and straight forward. I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn more about negotiation and conflict.